This happened about a week ago. I've been too busy to post it until now. I wrote it down when it happened, so it's on the present tense.
So today was chock full of silliness.
First, at Pet Smart. (I'm the pricing specialist there. Sounds important and complicated. It's not. I'm basically a glorified sticker-putter-upper.) A man and his daughter came it. He was rumpled and absentminded. Shirt wrinkled beyond belief, (and half untucked) socks mismatched, one shoe untied, crooked glasses. For some reason that just made him utterly adorable. He was so sweet.
His daughter was a punker with her septum pierced and curly wild black hair and equally as sweet as her father.
They had just gotten a puppy and were gatting the necessities to take care of it. Collar, leash, food, toys, treats, a bed, cage, puppy pads, tag. Now at Pet Smart we have an engraving machine so people can buy a tag at the register and engrave it right there. So thy pick out a tag and and pay for everything and walk to the machine. The father left two of his bags on my register. I have a feeling that if I haden't put them into his cart, he would've forgotten them.
They get the tag engraved and go to put it on the puppy. Now the father had put the tiny zip lock bag the tag came in in his pocket. He needed it bacause the metal O ring was in there. He rummages in his pockets for a few minutes but can't find it. So he starts taking everything out of his pockets. Wallet, keys, phone, change. Here's where it starts to get weird. He pulls out a half eaten lollipop, screws, nuts and bolts, one marble (irony), a rock. Now these aren't common, but not terribly strange. The grand finale? He reaches in and pulls out...a doorknob. Did you miss that? Thats okay, I'll say it again. HE PULLED OUT A DOORKNOB. A full on brass door knob.
Naturally I had no choice but to collapse against my register in hysterical laughter. I didn't feel bad because his daughter was right there with me. It was the most bizarre thing I've seen in a while.
About half and hour later, I get slammed and have to call for a backup cashier. Krystal, my new manager, comes out to help.
I'm going to take a minute here to tell you about Krystal a bit. She is crazy awesome. She is sweet and goofy and upbeat and damn funny. She asks about my life outside of work, and actually listens and remembers. I'll tell her something and next time I see her, she'll ask about it. She is laid back and friendly, but an amazingly efficient manager. She has the perfect balance between being personal and and professional. She never talks down to those lower than her, never tries to delegate busy work out to others is she has the time to do it. She does everything. She gets shit done. If we are closing together, she offers to drive me home so I don't have to walk late at night when it's below freezing. IShe never gives me a hard time about being a few minutes late, doesn't berate me when I do something wrong. Instead she walks me through it until I understand. And she has a Japanese charecter tattooed on the back of her neck that means "marrige". Normally I don't like Japanese charecters, they are so over used. But I like hers.
Like I said, crazy awesome.
Back to the sillly day.
So Krystal comes to help me ring. As a customer walks away from her register, Krysal says "psst" to get ny attention. I look overt at her and she discretely points to the woman who just left her register and mouths one word. "Shoes". I look over at this woman, who is HUGE, and look down. On her feet are lime green, faux aligator print vinyl clogs. That's bad enough, but to top it all off, she is not wearing socks. It had just snowed the night before. It is about 25degrees outside. All I could do was turn back to Krystal and say, "I got nothing".
I finish work and go home. Justin and I clean for a while, do laundry, etc. etc. He had to go out for a bit, so I layed down to read for a while. This was around 5pm. Next thing I know I wake up to find that I've drooled all over my book (charming, I know) and it's 7am. I am now late for work. I bolt up and frantically try to get ready to go. As I'm getting dressed, Justin gets home. He walks in to see my desperately trying to put my sweater on. I try over and over, turning it inside out and right side in over and over, but just cannot get it on. I look up to see Justin staring at me like he's never met me before. "What? " I snap at him.
"What are you doing?" he sounds completely baffled.
"I'm late for work". I still can't get my sweater on.
"No, I mean why are you trying to pull your sweater onto you legs?"
I look down and sure enough, this is what I have been doing for a full 10 minutes. Yeah. I am half asleep and very disoriented, and frantic on top. This is the only reason I could come up with as to why I suddenly forgot how to dress myself.
Justin also points out that I still have jeans on, which I can't wear to Pet Smart. I had one shoe on already and was about to put on the other. I throw my shoe down in frustration and shuck my jeans off, but of course I get them caught on my shoe. After 10 more minutes of stumbling and very creative swearing, I'm finally dressed.
As I go back into the living room, Justin says I thought you didn't have work. "Do you know what day it is?"
"Of course I do. It's Friday." I viciously snap at him.
"No it's not, it's Thursday".
I pause for a second"It doesn't matter i have work Thurdays at 7 too!"
I finally make it out of the house and realize I don't where Justin parked the car. Perfect. I walk to the end of the block and don't see it, so I turn around and walk the other way. As I'm walking, I notice that it's still dark out. Why is it still dark out at 7am? I ask myself. I turn to my right and see the cafe is open. And why are the cafe lights on? They are never open this-
Oh. Oh no. Really? FREAKIN' REALLY!?!?
As I'm sure you've figured out by now, it is not 7am like I previuosly thought. It is 7pm on the same day. I only slept for two hours. I am S-M-R-T, SMRT!
All in all, an interesting day.
Signing off for now, over.