Thursday, February 24, 2011

I Have Resurfaced!

I'm finally back! I know it's been a while, and oh, what an interesting while it has been. Short recap:

After 20 nearly 21 years of never having one, (and as far as I know no history in my family having them), I had 3 seizures in a week. Yes, seizures. Now actually having them is not painful or scary for me, being as I don't remember them at all. One minute I'm putting on my shoes or standing at the kitchen sink, next I'm on the floor on my back looking up at a very scared Justin. Actually, (though I feel bad saying this), I feel great when I come to, emotion wise. I feel calm and fully awake. Physically I'm a bit dizzy and weak, but that's all. I'm disoriented as far as I don't understand why I'm on the floor or why Justin is so adamant about me not standing up. But as he exsplains to me what happened, I get scared because I don't like losing track of time or reality that way. It makes me feel so out of control. Being in control of myself is a big thing for me. It also scares me that I have absolutely no warning. No warning so no idea what to do to avoid so it doesn't happen again. So frustrating.

Meanwhile, poor Justin has to deal with watching them happen, getting me to the ER afterwards, and sticking to my side as much as possible. If I'm out of his sight in the house, (example: I'm in the bathroom and he's in the bedroom) for more than a few minutes, he'll check on me. If I drop something, or make a loud noise, he comes running, looking panicked. He asks that I stay sitting or laying down as much as possible while he's at work. I feel so bad that he is under so much stress with all this.

On top of that, I can only work at Pet Smart now. I can't work at the cafe or DJ. So we're now extremely tight, money wise. But we somehow make it work. We always will.

I haven't had a seizure for 3 weeks. I have to be 6 months seizure free before I can drive again, which SUCKS. I have an EEG and MRI lined up so they can try and figure out what's wrong. The first two times I went to the ER, they had nothing to tell me. They had no idea why I was having them. So they put me on some meds to help. The third time, we didn't go. Why? Because we didn't feel like waiting 6 hours only to be told there was nothing they could do, nothing they could tell us.

Now we just take it day by day.

Well, that's all for now. I will do better at keeping up with this. (Hopefully)

Signing off for now.